Kenny Dalglish has flown to Boston for talks with Liverpool’s owners J.W. Henry, Tom Werner and Lebron James.
JW: So… Kenny. The King. K-D. Kenny-nio. Um… that wasn’t quite what we had in mind.
KD: The Sixth Sense? I know, right? What a twist.
JW: No, this past season.
KD: Spring? I know. Chucked it down every day. What drought, eh!?
JW: Do you see any cause for optimism?
KD: Yes. Germany won’t let Greece go under, I’m positive about that. This won’t be the end of the Euro.
JW: Concerning the football club?
KD: Yes, the new kit is ghastly.
JW: Concerning the players?
KD: You’ll be delighted to find out that I’ve just signed Ian Rush from his wife for 50 million pounds. The Ian Rush.
LBJ: Why did you so ardently defend Luis Suarez?
KD: Haven’t you asked me this before?
JW: What is the Carling Cup?
KD: It’s like the Champions League, only more elite. Juventus, Real Madrid and Brazil didn’t even get to the first round.
JW: Who is Jay Spearing?
KD: The bassist in Cast.
TW: We’re going to be appointing a new manager.
KD: Like with Roy Evans and Gerard Houllier? Cool, I’m on board. Who ya thinkin’ of?
JW: No, you’re being sacked. Have been sacked? (Puzzled look to TW, similarly floundering in the depths of this linguistic nightmare). Are currently being sacked. Have literally just been sacked… as of now.
KD: Well I appreciate your kindness, but I can’t accept a pay-rise.
JW: We’re not offering you a pay-rise. We just fired you.
KD: Sure, I’ll dine with you.
JW: Kenny this isn’t working.
KD: Just hold the ‘menu’ button down for five seconds and it should restart.